I'm sorry (7.3)

After three and half months, I heard these words again, and those similar sentences as well, however, not from that one being far away, but from my mouth this time ~ how ironic it is, and how terrible I am by doing this...At this moment, I really wish 'god' doesn't give me the heart, then I would never hurt others or be hurt by others.

I've nothing to say, it means to happen like this, even though I've been thinking thousand times that 'if sth was not like that that time, then I will be...' However, this is not life. And I know, things always happen for a reason.
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Anyway, all things till now are really enough, if these are what the 'god' wants me to go through in this fieldwork, it is really enough ~ all the experiences, the struggles, the adventures, the difficulties, and of course the happiness and many kinds of new knowledge as well, everything I've learned and got during these five months, well, really unbelievable. I feel that since I came here, my old self had been broken down gradually, by different kinds of forces inside and outside (the environment, the events, the people, the languages, the everyday routine, the new knowledge...). And these days, it seems that all the pieces have been gradually picked up and put back, in a new way, aiming to form a stronger and more reliable 'me'.

However, both of these amazing processes have also made me so exhausted. Now, I think it is really the time going home and having a long break.