These days ( 7.2 am)

I’ve (actually, we three: me, German Martin and French gyi-yon, who r preparing to become a Bonpo monk here) started to learn meditation with the guestmaster A-Sonam for several days. It is pretty interesting and impressive. Three days ago, our homework was to think and find out ‘who you are’ (for example, who yu-shan is) or ‘where you are’ (same point, actually) – we can not discuss with each other, need to find out by yourself.

In effect, it is also a very important topic I really need to think about especially since 20th, and yes, I’ve been thinking and asking where I am and what my real feelings are before getting this homework – it is indeed extremely difficult to figure out!!!

Anyway, I think I found sth about ‘who I am’ the day before yesterday (secret, hahaha) and ‘what I really feel’ last night. It is great, right? I mean, at least I know sth about myself, and it is clear and for sure now. However, I know that following this, it'll come the most difficult part which I need to face – to say out and to clarify sth. Ai, really don’t know how to deal with it. This reminds me that in one of ‘How I met Your Mother’, Marshell told ted that ‘there’s no better way for xxxxx, just a less horrible way.’ So, I got to figure out how to do it in a 'less horrible way' anyway.

Some of us in the guesthouse were talking about how much ourselves can be changed by traveling or by staying long in a place like this quiet village. I’m damn sure that I myself really really changed a lot within these 5 months – much more than studying in UK for 2 years. I hope all these changes (and the challenges I’ve faced, which have been leading me to deal with many parts of deep self) are all positive.

Dear all, miss you so much, cannot wait to go back and chat with you all!!!